Fantastic Four: Rise of another bad movie
I ended up getting out to see Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer last night. I’ll tell you right now, don’t waste your time on this one. Everything I hated in the first one came back in full force for the sequel.
Where to begin?
First of all, the Silver Surfer wasn’t even the bad ass he’s supposed to be. In the words of Kevin, “He was a chump!”
Second, the ending fight scene lasted a whole two minutes. It pisses me off when a movie is building up to the climactic end fight for it to only last the length of a Lifetime movie commercial break. Maybe the director needs to go watch the first two Spider-Man movies or even the Matrix for fucks sake.
Third, the movie had no intriguing qualities what so ever. Oh wait, they pulled the scene again where Jessica Alba ends up with no clothes on in public and has to turn invisible to hide from everyone. For a second I thought I may see a little boobage, but then remembered it’s PG rating. It’s pretty bad when the same joke has to be used again in a sequel. I mean common, come up with some new content.
Overall this movie was a waste of time. Don’t see it with your boyfriend/girlfriend, mother, father, brother, sister, or friend. Hell, don’t even see it by yourself. Just don’t see it. K?
June 18th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
I hate movies! The only thing worse than going to an overcrowded movie theatre is going to an overcrowded movie theatre with disapproving comic book nerds. I can just picture all these geeks standing in the lobby of the theatre talking about how let down they were by this piece of crap:
NERD: Galactus doesn’t look like that?
NERD 2: I know, they totally ruined the character.
NERD 3: Jessica Alba’s hot. Why must they tease us? It’s bad enough that I don’t see boobage in real life, but now I don’t even get to see it in the movies.
NERD: Wheez wheez. Where’s my inhaler?
NERD 2: I didn’t know you had asthama.
NERD: I’m a nerd, therefore I must have asthma.
NERD: OH YEAH! Just like how I have bad acne, because as well all know nerds have acne.
NERD: Exactly!
NERD 3: Jessia Alba is so fine! I’m going to write her letter and win her over with my vast Fantastic Four knowledge.
NERD: Alright! Let’s order pizza!
NERD 2: Can we have some Mountain Dew?
NERD: Indeed, we can!
ALL: ALRIGHT!
(They all hive five one another)
I remember X-Men 3 in which all the nerds talk and talk and talk, refusing the leave the premise, until finally I told them all to leave, because I was closing and wanted to go home. If ever make a Super hero film it would end with the hero saying directly to the audience: “You just wasted two hours of your life. Aren’t you ashamed? You should go home and hang yourselves.” At least 30% of the audience would take his advice and do just that. The other 70% would be like, “Man, I really could go for some nachos!” Or they would be disappointed by the movie going experience that they would go to a bar to forget about it all.
June 19th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
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